That’s where I found myself… overwhelmed, sad and tired. So much so that I actually went to the doctor. I thought I was sick. I told him that I was just so tired and no matter how much I rested; I never felt like it was enough. Then he asked me about my mental emotional state. At first I was confused. Like, what do my emotions have to do with me being tired? Apparently, everything. My dear friend, restorative justice guru, Dr. Shaniqua Jones says, “Sleep won’t help if it’s your soul that’s tired.”. I don’t know if truer words have ever been spoken. My soul was tired.
I went home that day and reevaluated my… everything. I didn’t even realize how my inability to reconcile my choices against the expectations of other folks was effecting me. This is why it is so important to be dialed into yourself. You need to reflect and question yourself about yourself.
Women, we need to share our stories. Your friend is smiling every day and is devastated by things she thinks she can’t discuss with you. She’s struggling with something you can’t see. Your daughter thinks she needs to suck it up because you did. Tell her the truth… your truth. Admit you wish you didn’t have to suck it up. Tell your daughter about the mistakes of your youth. Be as specific or as vague as your comfort level will allow, but tell the truth.
Too many of us suffer in pain and silence because of perceived judgment, shame and stigma. When we speak truth by sharing our stories we normalize those things we were once ostracized and isolated by. Do you know how many times I have revealed something and heard… Are you serious, Stephanie??? Me too! Telling the truth helps you reclaim your power. It draws you to women who have yet to secure the footing it takes to stand tall and speak their truth. Truth unifies. Telling the truth says I know I am enough.
My experiences do not minimize me; they elevate me.
As usual, the problem occurs when we don’t communicate our feelings. Instead, we go dark. You cannot articulate your feelings and you won’t try because you think it actually sounds kinda petty. We don’t make calls and we don’t take them. Too busy either feeling sorry for ourselves or refusing to give people who love us the benefit of the doubt. Although…. If you’re feeling some time of way the onus is on you to communicate those feelings.
