kindness

2019, Communication, Emotional Health, Education, Identity, Love, Life, Mental Health, Parenting, Relationships

Babies... Bullies... and Bullsh.....

Stephanie Pearson-Davis ·

I thought she just needed to warm up to the new school year. We were in a new grade, in a new building. Transitions can be challenging. I reasoned that anyone might need a few days to settle in. Then, things quickly escalated. She didn’t want to go to school. The final straw was when I had to go pick her up 2 days in a row because the office called me with her bawling in the background. 

Up until that point I thought she was having a little separation anxiety. Which would have been standard. But, it wasn’t that she was crying. It was the way she was crying. The desperation and fear. The way she clung to me let me know that something was very wrong. This was more than separation anxiety. My girl… my effervescent star was losing her shine.

2019, Communication, Disease, Education, Health, Identity, Life, Nutrition, Relationships, Self-Care, Self-Help, social media

So You Wanna Be a Better Human 101

Stephanie Pearson-Davis ·

I am often looking for easily executable ways for all of us to be better people. I believe most folks don’t want to be annoying, selfish, inconsiderate individuals. I’m a glass full kind of woman. So, I choose to believe these two things: 1. People don’t know how inappropriate their behavior is. 2. People know their behavior is inappropriate they just don’t have better choices at their immediate disposal. People need compassion and hope and wonderful blogs with insightful, funny, but applicable life hacks. Not to fear! Stephanie is here!!!

2018, Children, Communication, Fear, Identity, Life, Marriage, Mental Health, Parenting, Self-Care, Relationships

Cut Yourself Some Slack... and Then Cut Some More

Stephanie Pearson-Davis ·

Perfection lacks flexibility. It forces us to BE without movement or allowances. What happens when you stretch a rubber band that has no elasticity? It breaks... And so will you.   Perfection is also an animal birthed from the expectations of others. Which is a major reason that it is unattainable.  

2018, Children, Communication, Identity, Love, Life, Parenting, Relationships, Support Others

Our Elders Need Us to See Them

Stephanie Pearson-Davis ·

LISTEN…. I was stuck after she said her children were waiting on her to die so they could have her stuff.  Like, is this what seniors… what older parents are worried about???  Are children really taxing their beloved parents with worry about only wanting their possessions?  Are children really only seeing their parents when they need or want something?  Are children teaching their own children the same behavior?  Because you know they’re watching you; right?  They know your mother and or father live right down the street, but you won’t throw a glass of water when you ride by.  You know you will be on the receiving end of this one day; right? Ok then.

Love, Relationships, Mental health

BE The Message

Stephanie Pearson-Davis ·

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If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.

-Dalai Lama 

Somebody stiffed me y’all and I am pissed… and conflicted. I paid someone money for a product.  They took my money and provided nothing. And while I am pissed; like put a cape on my ass pissed #SuperPissed, I am also feeling very sad and sorry for this individual. Before you go there— I’m being 100 percent genuine. No facetiousness. This person is a gifted artist and a gem of a human being. Period. I discovered those traits about him after many conversations and emails regarding the work he was contracted to do and life in general.  So, more than I want to strangle him for leaving me high and dry; I want to wrap him in hugs and love. I think that’s what he needs most right now.

Ummm…. Stephanie?  What are you saying? To be honest, a part of me isn’t sure because I’m still processing.  Maybe I haven’t even let the dust settle enough, but I felt like talking to you guys about it.  I think that sometimes people do stuff for inexplicable reasons. Sometimes they do it directly to us, sometimes to themselves and sometimes we catch the heat from what they thought was only effecting them. Collateral damage is more than a mediocre Arnold Schwarznegger film.  His life is in shambles right now.  Rather than call me, email me or write a message in the sky and say that to me; he’s hiding from me… under guilt and shame.

Now at this point we all know how I feel about guilt and shame.  I rebuke it in the name of Jesus! No. Seriously. I’m no bible thumper, but I know some things. And I know that we were not created to live a life weighted with guilt and shame. Funny thing is my first thought about “the homie” was indeed anger and disappointment before I reflected on the circumstances more comprehensively. I legit had an Aha! moment like…. Dude, you have to live your message.  Wait, what? Yep.  You gotta BE who you say you are. I’m not gon lie I had an attitude about the revelation. I wanted to call him and go IN. Do you hear me???  IN!!!  Instead, I thought about the space he might be in and the damage I might cause him by unleashing my verbal arsenal. Plus, it’s unlikely that my verbal explosion was going to miraculously cause him to crawl out of the funk of things to keep his word anyway. More than all that, I knew I could encourage, uplift and set expectations without demoralizing him or increasing his guilt and shame. I’m just not about that life anymore. 

So where are we now?  I haven’t heard from him.  He didn’t complete the work or return my money. Still, my message to him remains… Take care of you. Take care of you. Am I disappointed and annoyed? Hella.  It cost me more than the money. A lot of time and energy went in to the work we were doing together. But my heart… my soul is in tact. His is not. So hold a good thought for this man as I am. Check on your friends who are living with depression and anxiety.  Be kind to folks even when they piss you off.  You don’t know the road they’re on… Don’t be the car that runs them over. Peace y’all. As always #ChooseYou. Love you and see you soon.

If you or anyone you know is suffering from depression or anxiety; there's help.  Do not suffer in silence. Visit www.nami.org or www.blindfaithchgo.org.  Take care of you!

I’m not here because I’m an expert. I’m here because I have experiences -Stephanie