"Perfection does not exist. Focus on being your best."
-Stephanie
I was at an immunization appointment for my youngest daughter. The pediatrician asked how I was doing. Hello, Mommas?? That is a sign that your pediatrician ROCKS. She asked how I was doing and I became a little weepy; not sobbing or even crying, but weepy. I told her that I was juggling kids, activities, work and I just wanted everything to be right.
Well… what I was really saying was that I wanted things to be perfect. Now to be clear, I am not typically the kind of person who gets mushy with people outside of my inner circle… except post partem is a thing. I’m convinced my vulnerability in those moments was divinely orchestrated so I could hear what I so desperately needed to hear. The doctor said, “Cut yourself some slack. Just do your best. That’s it. YOUR best. And understand your best as something on a pendulum that is constantly changing.”
I thanked her profusely for taking the time and sharing such wisdom. Still, I don’t know that she knew the gift she gave me on that day. I was running myself ragged chasing the unattainable. Perfection is an illusion. An abstract idea that perpetuates feelings of worthlessness and inadequacy. Perfection has no place in your life. If you must assess your performance in life let it be done on a pendulum; on a varying fluid scale.
Perfection lacks flexibility. It forces us to BE without movement or allowances. What happens when you stretch a rubber band that has no elasticity? It breaks... And so will you. Perfection is also an animal birthed from the expectations of others. Which is a major reason that it is unattainable.
What IS perfection?
Lets take a ribeye. How do you prepare a perfect ribeye? I say you dress that baby in kosher salt, coarse black pepper and sear it in an oven heated, smoking hot, cast iron skillet until you have a warm pink center and finish it with herb butter. I think I just drooled, but I digress. Someone else’s idea of a perfect idea ribeye includes a 1500 degree oven.
Guess what??? I don’t even own a 1500 degree oven. I don’t have the capability to prepare a ribeye in that fashion. Ya know what I do? That’s right! My best! My oven heats 550. I take what I have and I work it!
I don’t wallow in what I could do if only I had what I don’t have. To determine what is perfect in my life by what someone else can do/is doing in there’s is ludicrous and dangerous to my mental, emotional health.
My children, bless their hearts. They want me to attend every school celebration, every “Family Night”, they want notes in their lunch boxes every day. There was a time when my best was doing all of those things. Now, I have a toddler. Showing up at school every time they beckon isn’t realistic anymore. It isn’t my best. My best is bathing every day and making sure the humans in our home eat. That’s it.
When me and the little one caught a nasty cold and he didn’t sleep for more than an hour and a half at a time; my best didn’t even include feeding the other humans in our home. Don’t worry. No one starved. My husband did his best and helped me and I don’t feel bad about it.
You see… It’s a constantly evolving pendulum. Give yourself the space... the permission to be the best you determined by you. Perfection does not exist. Focus on being your best. Choose you. Love you!
I'm not here because I'm an expert. I'm here because I have experiences. -Stephanie