"Mental illness isn't a punchline."
-Stephanie
When people we know, like and or love behave badly we want answers. I honestly think it’s a natural response. Inquiry and curiosity are tools we use to learn and keep ourselves safe. We assess situations and people and leverage a judgement based on what we know. BUT… How can we do that if we don’t know what happened and why?
This is where we make a wrong turn… In many every day life situations we have no idea what’s happening in the lives of others. Still, that doesn’t prevent us from having an opinion about how they navigate their lives. And if we do get answers and those answers don’t make sense to us or don’t fit neatly into the narrative we already created— Well, we just make shit up.
Like, we create diagnoses and scenarios that do not exist. This is fact. Not for nothing... If you don't have medical knowledge and experience you could not even begin to truly recognize and understand what's going on in the body/mind of another person. I have witnessed an individual experience a diabetic episode and another oxygen loss. Both mimicked behaviors of someone having a psychotic episode. If you don't know... you don't know.
There is a celebrity currently in the news that is behaving in a manner that disgusts folks… myself included. He is making statements that I categorically do not agree with. His actions and the company he’s keeping seem odd and he just doesn’t look good. Those are my basic observations. But I don’t know what’s wrong with him. Look at me projecting. Maybe there's nothing “wrong” with him.
I am concerned about him. I wish better for him in general, but I have no idea what’s going on with him. You know who thinks they know what’s going on with him? The people in these internet streets.
Apparently, he is experiencing a profound sense of grief… he is not taking his medication for a diagnosis he has never disclosed… he is under the hex of his wife and her black magic family. I’ve heard all these things. Why are we creating all these rationales for his behavior? Because people need a reason. We need a place, a category for him to fit… a way for him to be resolved.
While it brings us a sense of order and calm to categorize people— We need to stop. Honestly, when you don’t have enough information it’s a colossal waste of time and also it’s not fair to the person in question or the group of people you’ve classified them with.
In this case, the individual has been classified as living with mental illness. The first thing we do when someone’s behavior doesn’t match up with our expectations is call them crazy. There are so many other ways to define or describe a particular behavior. Also, arbitrarily offering that someone is acting out as a result of mental illness limits their accountability. Everyone, regardless of independent mental capacity, needs accountability. More than that… It trivializes mental illness. Annnnd it’s an insult to people who live successful lives while managing mental illness. It’s dismissive to their experience and all they have overcome.
Almost 6 million people are living with bipolar disorder in the United States. They are going to work every day, taking their prescribed meds, going to therapy, contributing to their communities and otherwise minding their damn business. You know what most of them aren’t doing??? They’re not galavanting on national tv showing their whole, natural ass.
When you willy nilly place people you deem “crazy” alongside those who are working hard every day to live an integrated life with mental illness you are minimizing their struggle, perseverance and success. You are also stigmatizing mental illness which promotes shame. We. Don’t. Do. That. Let people be who they are. Erratic, irresponsible, narcissistic behavior is not solely relegated to those with mental illness. Some folks are just assholes. #ISaidWhatISaid
To that end, spread love. Be kind. Stop calling people crazy. Everyone is fighting a battle to some degree. Offer a supportive word when appropriate and wish the best for people you think are struggling with life. Y’all know what I say… There’s too much that needs fixing on me to spend my time diagnosing other folks. #JudgeYourOwnSelf Hey! Thanks for reading. Love y’all!
I’m not here because I’m an an expert. I’m here because I have experiences. -Stephanie