“Let go of your plan in favor of holding on to your sanity.”
Stephanie D. Pearson-Davis
My baby boy, Blake, had a birthday a few weeks ago. He turned 3. To commemorate the big 3 I decided to have a few friends and family over to our home. Nope. No Chucky Cheese party over here. No shade to my Chucky Cheese lovers. I just can’t do it. It’s a little too overstimulating for my senses. Kids screaming in glee or terror is always how I have experienced it. So, I vowed to stop experiencing it.
A small house party is how I love to celebrate children’s birthdays. And by small I mean at least 40 people eating, drinking and being merry. I love house parties because in the event of early onset tiredness or unexpected sugar overdose, the little person can comfortably lay anywhere in the house without me suffering from germ expectation induced anxiety. I am no germaphobe, but toddlers are the one subset of humans who can find the worst of all germs wherever they go.
So a house party it is. I did the easy part first which was just letting folks know when and where. I ordered a couple of statement t-shirts and gifts for the boy and then we waited for the big day. Oh the food! Right. So, at first I started to cater it, but changed my mind because it’s a kids party. I can totally handle this.
I went against me and my husband’s first mind to have pizza and hot dogs, Blake’s favorite foods. I decided that it had been a long time since my friends and family had some of my cooking. As it is, I already sacrificed my annual Davis Christmas Pizza Potluck Party. I haven’t seen all these people together since Labor Day. Oh no! I can’t serve them hot dogs and pizza. I don’t care. I don’t care. We will have something more delicious than that.
See, food and cooking is how I say, “I love you.” It’s how I say, “I’m glad you’re here.” Honestly, it’s one of the reasons I have such difficulty managing the goals for my health and fitness, but I digress. We can chat about that another day.
Off I went to the store the day before the party.
On my way to the store I decided the menu would include baked ziti and a tossed salad with yummy add-ins like gorgonzola cheese, green apples, craisins and such. I grabbed ground and linked Italian sausage. I quickly remembered several of my guests don’t eat pork. No worries! I’ll just grab some ground beef and more ingredients. Now, I have to make two sauces, but I got this. I headed to check out.
Oh crap!!! One of my guests can longer eat tomato anything. Side note: I grew up in a house that was always entertaining. My parents taught me that you make people feel welcomed by considering them in your choices. In other words, make sure there’s something for everyone. I decided to grab some chicken breasts and veggies to make chicken alfredo pasta too. I finished shopping. I had about 20lbs of meat, a full cart and a fully overwhelmed heart.
I paid the bill and went home.
When I got home, I sat at the kitchen table defeated. I just stared at all the food… uncooked food. My husband came in the kitchen, assessed the situation and said, “What do we have here?” I explained that I was in way over my head. I admitted, I should’ve just made hot dogs. He, knowing exactly what I needed, said— “You still can.”
You. Still. Can.
Those three words will preach all day!!! In my head I planned a fantastic meal, envisioning that my guests would feel the love through my delicious offerings. I ran around in that grocery store like a crazy person trying to meet the needs of everyone, but me. Thank God for my husband who reminded me that awareness and flexibility are necessary components of everything I do.
I abandoned my plan because it no longer served me. I was already overwhelmed and I had only grocery shopped. There’s a quote that says something like, sometimes we hold on to a bad choice because we spent such a long time making it. Let go of your plan in favor of holding on to your sanity.
Your peace must be your priority.
I served hot dogs, with toppings and individual bags of chips. Our guests were more than satisfied; they were happy with the meal. To the extent that we ran out of hot dogs(I never run out of food.)!!! We had a fabulous time together. I’m not saying I could’ve served crackers and water, but I think everyone was mostly full off love; not hot dogs and chips when they left.
Someone reading this needs to know— You still can. Whatever it is… if it’s not serving you.. YOU STILL CAN throw it away and start again.
I’m not here because I’m an expert. I’m here because I have experiences. -Stephanie