Today, I am so aware of people who are in a state of missing. I’m thinking of people who are dealing with disappointment, loss and grief.
To be clear, there are many types of loss and grief with varying degrees, swinging like a wrecking ball on a pendulum.
And death isn’t the only pathway to grief. Grief can come from an anticipated loss. When you know that while you still presently have something, you will lose it imminently.
Consider folks who are in the process of divorce, a friendship that is on the rocks, abortion, layoffs, illness that causes loss of body function or lifestyle. Someone just found out their baby no longer has a heartbeat. Someone else has a home in foreclosure or found out their parent has 4 weeks to live. In the last month, I have heard of at least four different missing women.
Guest Rule— Do not call when you are two houses down to ask if the host needs anything… unless you live in an urban metropolitan area where there might actually be a corner store. Us suburbanites do not have corner stores, but you already knew that. Don’t be disingenuous. Calling from the driveway talking about, “What can I bring?”. That said, do not come empty handed. Even if they don’t need anything— bring something. Flowers, wine, fruit punch… something. Unless you have previously discussed an extenuating circumstance with the host… your presence is not enough. With love, Stephanie
