“Personal evolution is a comprehensive, multidimensional web of changes, spun in multiple directions, that contribute to your all encompassing wellness.”
Stephanie D. Pearson-Davis
You know… sometimes growing is scary. And when you evolve??? It’s downright terrifying. Moving from a comfortable state of being into a constant state of personal awareness and self inquiry. It’s challenging. I have had growth spurts. You know? Like, I stopped being adversarial. I didn’t like how it felt. So, I started working against that. When I started to see, with compassion, this negative behavior in other people; that was evolution. Evolution occurred when I began to question where I learned and why I participated in that behavior. When I discovered that it was a defense mechanism I used to be heard and seen after years of feeling invisible… that was evolution.
I believe there is a distinct difference between growth and evolution. I see growth as one dimensional. It’s either yes or no, up or down, left or right. Evolution is a comprehensive, multidimensional web of changes in multiple directions that contribute to your all encompassing wellness.
Growth is… I quit smoking because it’s unhealthy. Evolution is… The continuous pursuit of understanding and self awareness. Why did I begin smoking? What space was I trying to fill with cigarettes? Growth is movement on a chart. Evolution is the process of understanding that you have the power to create the chart.
To be clear, I’m here for all of it. Growth, change and evolution— Each declare: I am no longer standing in the same space.
I am more.
Being more can be frightening because it means some people and some places and some things will be left in the less behind you. Sit with that for a moment… I have left some people I once loved in the less of my life. There are places I don’t go anymore… People I no longer spend time with… behaviors I avoid. I move differently, but that is no commentary on the people I left.
There is no judgement from me, just acknowledgment.
We are all on different paths. Just as I have left folks— I have been left in the less. What is less for me is more for someone else. What is more for me is less for someone else. THIS is the reason no one should feel threatened, intimidated, angry or otherwise jaded by another individuals path. Unfortunately, too few people understand this.
That is the space where jealousy and resentment live.
A few weeks ago I wrote about projection vs reflection. You can read about it here. Envy can only be born from comparison. You can only compare if you are looking at someone else’s paper. How can you pass your test with answers from someone else’s test? You can’t. Instead, you fail your test; they get what you perceive as high marks— Now you mad. You believe what they have belongs to you. This is a sad, counterproductive way to exist.
How can you expect to go where I’m going when we have two different maps? Your map is of North America. How can you feel some type of way when you don’t end up in Ghana with me?
People will begrudge your map. They will begrudge your mode of transportation. They will begrudge the treasures you accumulate along the way. They will begrudge everything BUT the ambition, determination, sacrifice and work you put in to reach your destination. I am fascinated by these individuals that feel slighted by the fruits of someone els’s labor.
Hard work is available for all. I wanted to be an attorney. I wasn’t willing to do the work. I’m not an attorney. The end. I harbor no jealousy. I know plenty of attorneys. I am proud of every one of them. My NOT being an attorney is not about them. It’s only about me.
There are people who envy you for things they have never been willing to work for. That ain’t about you.
No one has time to be angry or hurt about the life of another person if they are looking at ways to elevate their own. I promise you, there is not enough time in any day to judge someone else’s life while improving your own. You have to make a choice.
What will it be?
I’m not here because I’m an expert. I’m here because I have experiences. -Stephanie