"You have to figure out where your value and power lie so you can love yourself completely."
-Stephanie
Summer is just about here. The days are longer, the sun is shining brighter and longer. This is what we’ve been waiting for; right? When it was three degrees outside we had visions of shorts and bathing suits, sandals and bronzed skin. The very idea of sitting outside without a snowsuit left me giddy. But now that this summerific weather is here we have another problem.
Wait, what? Summer and problem in the same sentence? Yep. Well, what’s the problem? Sigh… We’ve had from the end of last summer until today to get our summer bodies together and we didn’t.
We still fat. *improper grammar intended*
Whoa Steph! What’s up with that? Sounds like body shaming to me! Before we waste cardio on fighting; let me stop you. These words aren’t that. We don’t do shame and guilt here. Still, we tell the truth. And if you, like me, have more rolls than Pillsbury then that’s just what it is right now.
So, first we have to acknowledge the facts. We are plus size. We are overweight. We said we wanted to lead a more healthy lifestyle. We KEEP saying we want to lead a more healthy lifestyle. We had three seasons to get our life together. Fall, Winter and Spring have passed. We didn’t get our life together. To that end, we are still chubby. Is there anything wrong with that? Nope— Unless you want to be something else.
If we want to be better; we’re gonna have to do better. And it can’t be about numbers on a scale or labels. Because listen honey… When I reach my goal weight I will still be considered “plus size”. I could not care less if there’s and “X” or a “W” after my size.
I care about how my knees feel when I walk further than the mailbox. I’m focused on how my lungs inflate and how my heart beats when I run up the stairs. I care about the way clothes drape on my body. I care about blood pressure and blood sugar readings. You should too because those… those are the numbers that matter. I care about if I’m living a life that says…. I want to grow old with the love of my life as we watch our greatest works of art grow into glowing reflections of God.
And speaking of children—
Get in the pictures with these babies. You don’t like your body? Change it. I know it’s not easy, but it is possible. Small changes over time make a big impact. And I am NOT wagging my finger at you. I’m struggling with food and body issues just like you. I’ve just decided to work like hell against the shame that often comes with it. I don’t need that negativity in my life. These stretch marks, rolls and extra fluff tell a story. Let no one objectify or simplify the story your body.
I am worthy. I am powerful. I am worthy and powerful. When I’m overweight… When I feel defeated… When I’m sad… When I’m tired. I’m worthy and powerful at all times, but specially in the times and in the ways the world says I’m not.
You have to figure out where your value and power lie so you can love yourself completely.
In the meantime, stop teaching your babies that your body is something to be ashamed of. Say and do what is right until you feel it. Hear me when I say, every time you refuse to take a picture and every time you refuse to put on a swimsuit you are teaching your children shame and unworthiness.
Your children want you in the picture. Your family members want you in the picture. Truth told-- YOU want to be in the picture too... you just don't think you deserve it. Let there be no regrets while looking back at photographs that don't include you. Swimsuits are available in every size. So there’s definitely one for you. Reject the shame associated with emotional eating and poor physical activity.
HERE. IS. THE. THING.
Accept yourself as you are OR change who you are so you can accept you. #ChooseYou
That’s it. All this self deprecating behavior and talk must die. You are worthy of an existence where you are revered, exalted and free from negativity. Especially the kind that comes from you about you. We have to stop this. Being overweight isn’t a worthiness minimizer. I truly hate it when I see overweight people attempting to shrink themselves to fit societal ideals.
I hope you can hear my heart in these words. The numbers on the scale are often magnified to our detriment. Focus on what you feel instead of what you see. You are the best thing in your life. I love me. I love you too. Yes, I'm corny and mushy. SO! I told you that a long time ago! lol! Now, put on your swimsuit and get in the picture! See you at beach!
I’m not here because I’m an expert. I’m here because I have experiences. -Stephanie