...and she loved a little boy very, very much-- even more than she loved herself.
-Shel Silverstein
I could talk all day about how people confuse selfish behavior with self care, but I’m tired and I might come across as cranky today if I do. Ugh cranky? Yeah— And that’s not really my vibe. I try to stay off of soap boxes. The longer you stay up there the more slippery shit gets and I don’t wanna break my neck because I was pointing my finger at someone else. You understand I’m sure.
Anyway, our entire mission here rest on the idea that you are the most important entity in your life. It doesn’t matter if you have six kids… or if you’re the primary caretaker for a sick parent or both. No one in your life is more important than you. The sooner we as helper humans stop having The Giving Tree mentality the better off we will be #TrueStory. I mean I love the sentiment of that story as much as anybody, but.. damn. No. You cannot have everything I have.
You’re still reading? Good. So I’m telling you to take care of yourself, but I haven’t told you how. Stick with me, kid. Let’s knock out a few things on this list.
How To #ChooseYou: An Abbreviated List
Visit a Bookstore or Library. Full disclosure? I’m a book lover. There’s something about being in a space with books that is both invigorating and calming. I feel inspired by all the possibilities… all the places I can go in my mind while traveling on the pages of a book. Let a book take you away too. Cheapest vacation EVER!
Put Your Phone On Do Not Disturb. And then don’t be disturbed or apologetic about not being disturbed. In our wonderful world with all these technological advancements folks expect to have full access. It’s just not healthy. Sometimes you need to tune out the world so you can tune into you.
Journal. Remember that trip to the bookstore? You can find beautiful journals at the bookstore or Hallmark or Target or even Amazon. You don’t have to be a writer to write. You would be amazed at how therapeutic writing is for your soul. There is something about putting pen to paper. It’s not like you have to publish it. Seeing your life on paper, especially over time, can be really eye opening and motivating. (The first five people to email me will receive a free journal. stephanie@chooseyouforyou.com)
30 Minutes Of Physical Exertion. Don’t mind me. I’m talking to myself now. We don’t need to be working on a summer body to get fit. We need to be working on a lifetime of heart health. Our bodies need to move. Honestly, I don’t mind being active once I get moving— It’s that part before the workout when I’m deciding between holding the sheets a little longer or hopping out the bed a bit earlier before my mini me wakes up that gets me tripped up. Let’s commit to working our bodies a tiny bit more.
Family Time. Put down the technology. Create a time and space for your family to hang out. Grab a deck of cards or a board game. It costs very little, the memories will be fantastic and your family will be better from the time you spend together. Once a week would totally rock, but even once a month would be great.
Pray. Meditate. Be still. This is so important. Life moves so fast with many distractions. We really do have to tune into the right frequency so that we can hear from God. I am not a super religious person. I truly believe in #RelationshipOverReligion. So, I don’t know all the rules and even if I did… I’m a bit of a rule breaker. Still, I do know that God has not failed me yet. Sometimes, I have to remind myself to quiet the chaos so I can hear His voice.
The regular practice of choosing you will be challenging and rewarding . It will be the greatest work of your life. Choosing you will be a study of what really matters to you and a magnifier that shows if you include yourself amongst those things. Some days you will be elated; on other days your heart will break over all the little and big ways you made everything and everybody more important than you. There’s no reward in that. The triumph is in doing better once you know better.
Stay tuned. This is part of a much longer list, but I can’t give it all to you at once. #Duh Take care of yourself. Spend time reflecting on what taking care of you really means. It truly looks different for everybody. So keep your eyes on your own paper folks. Love y’all. Talk to you soon.
I'm not here because I'm an expert. I'm here because I have experiences. -Stephanie