“We have to be careful meeting people where they are because some folks are dwelling in spaces we have no business visiting.”
-Stephanie D. Pearson-Davis
I don’t like belaboring anything. I work hard, in fact, not to do it because it’s rooted in ego; not understanding… annnnd I don’t like it done to me. I am a person who will travel to a far away land in my mind if someone keeps saying the same thing repeatedly after I’ve demonstrated understanding. However, there is a distinct difference between belaboring and reminding or reinforcing.
*Stick with me. This isn’t a thesis.
Belaboring speaks to continued talking for the purpose of self-aggrandisement after the point is made and understood. It’s for the speaker. Reminding and reinforcing speaks to bridging the gap between knowing, understanding and execution. It’s for the recipient. Belaboring is punishment. Reminding and reinforcing are tools of continued learning.
I said all that to say, personal evolution is hard AF, and not enough people understand this.
And listen… maybe I’m the one who truly needs this message today. The other day I blew my entire top. I was doing good at first. I tried to restore calm and reason. I attempted to defuse the situation. I was all up in my Zen, elevated consciousness tool bag. Saying shit like, “I’m trying to come into agreement.”, “Wait. Let’s start over.” and taking deep breaths. It didn’t work because the purpose of the conversation was not to come in agreement. The purpose of the conversation was for me to feel shitty and lose. It also didn’t work because in those moments I didn’t remain committed to my goal of remaining calm. I let my feelings annnnnd my ego take over. I’ve grown alot, but apparently not that much. (I’m allowed.)
And after it was over… hell, while I was in the midst of it; I was on the outside looking in like—
But I couldn’t stop myself. *Ahem* I mean, I didn’t stop myself. Guess what came next. That’s right, folks! Guilt and shame. Because whhhhhy would I behave like that? I know better. I can do better. I am evolved. Truth: I behaved like that because my need to be superior was greater than my desire for personal peace and elevation. I wanted to vibrate higher, but when I wasn’t met up there— I returned to a place without challenge and met that person where they were.
WHEW. There’s a lot to be said for meeting people where they are; right?
We don’t all have the same emotional intelligence. People are in different stages in their journey and some folks haven’t even started. As such, we have to be careful meeting people where they are because some folks are dwelling in spaces we have no business visiting. Where they are doesn’t serve you. Not only does it not serve you, but you could be hurt. I don’t think I’m dramatizing this. This is real. Some people want you to meet them where they are so they can beat your ass on their turf. Don’t go.
I’m just saying… Be thoughtful. Be patient. Be careful. Don’t go everywhere you’re invited. #Discernment
I can’t stop before I acknowledge the overarching message here which is— Personal evolution is ongoing and not without a unique set of challenges. I really cannot adequately express the difficulty and the continuity of personal evolution. In some circles it has been reduced to posted memes, fitness, healthy eating and skin care routines. This is no judgement. It’s an observation.
Everyone has to do their thing how they do it.
Just know— You can have the slimmest waist and smoothest skin… you can look the part and still feel ugly, hopeless and depressed. It’s true no one will know how you really feel except you. Isn’t that enough? Develop the same energy you have for making sure you look good to making sure your mind and heart feel good. Take some of that gym and product money to a therapist. Heal past traumas. Forgive yourself. Forgive others. Get off the merry-go-round. You can fix your entire exterior, but if you don’t do the hard work… the heart work; eventually every pound and every pimple will resurface. Keep hitting the gym annnnd therapy.
We have to do the work. And we have to keep doing it every moment of every day until the day we die. That is how we achieve and maintain peace. I forgive myself for all thoughts and behaviors that did not serve me. I forgive myself for visiting places I’ve outgrown. We have to release microwave mentalities when it comes to our mental and emotional health. We’re all gonna make mistakes… expect them. When those mistakes occur we need to be gentle with ourselves. Practice makes progress. Real progress takes time.
Be conscious of your choices and how you invest your energy. Know that you will makes mistakes because that is how you learn. Learning is the journey.
Love y’all!
I’m not here because I’m an expert. I’m here because I have experiences.