"Half the time we don't know what we're doing, but our heart does."
-Yasir
I don’t get to watch much adult tv these days. So when I do tune in I like to think I am watching the best that television has to offer. Love Is___, a breakout hit based of the love journey between writers/directors/producers Mara Brock Akil and Samil Akil, is one of the best shows that television has to offer. If you’re not watching this show, which you can find featured on Auntie Oprah’s OWN network, you are definitely missing out. It’s a great show for couples or girls night or whatever.
Love Is_ is a beautiful representation of Black love and relationship. Not just romantic, but between family, friends and community. Not that these representations don’t occur within other races and ethnicities. They do. It’s just refreshing to see nuanced, honest, uncontrived, complex portrayals of Black folks that don’t include crack pipes, Glocks or prostitution.
Be clear. This isn’t a Black show or a show for Black folks in the sense that it’s only for Black audiences. Just like FRIENDS or any other of the predominately White casted shows isn’t just for White folks— This show is for everyone. If you have eyes, ears and a tv—This show is for you. It transcends race, sexual orientation, age and socio-economic status. It’s just so stinking relatable.
Literally, I have either been through or watched someone experience each circumstance presented in the last five episodes. And the music! The music and the clothes! Also, the writing… the dialogue. The way the characters say what they say. Am I gushing? I think I’m gushing. Anyway, because episode six premieres tonight I decided to write about a couple things that I feel strongly about at the halfway point.
Yasir is pursuing Nuri. Yasir is unemployed. He is not independently wealthy. He is not a trust fund kid. He did not win the lottery and he doesn’t strike me as the kind of man who would even play. Nasir’s only foreseeable income is the two unemployment checks he is anticipating. Nasir is cohabiting in an apartment with a woman with whom he is romantically involved who is NOT Nuri. His name is not even on the lease. This likely means he is broke with poor credit.
I’m going to speak to you plainly because I think I can. Fellas, if you do not have money you should not be dating. Period. Sis… do not feel badly about not dating men who do not have money.
Like, who’s gonna finance the burgeoning romance?
I’m serious. Call me old fashioned or whatever. In the new age of the “pick me” woman who’s willing to pay a man’s rent and leave the tip and wash her own car to prove that she’s worthy… be the opposite. Maybe I’m what’s wrong with women today. Perhaps, I have been brainwashed by misogyny and patriarchy. If you are not independently wealthy or are unemployed; you cannot afford to date. How can you even find the time? Where I’m from even when you don’t have a job you have a job… looking for a job. My parents taught me this as a young woman. I’m sure they impressed it upon my brother even harder because he's a man. For the record, I don’t think broke women should date either. It places you in a place of vulnerability where you do not belong. FACT.
I like Yasir. I really do, but I would tell any woman to run from a man like Yasir. I would see him as a selfish maker of poor choices. I don’t know how anyone could argue that. Bruh, you don’t even have your own place. Who raised you to think you should pursue the companionship of another human being when you cannot even take care of yourself? If not for Ruby he would be homeless. It’s not ok. Also, the narrative that makes a woman a gold digger for having the expectation that a suitor would be financially solvent is wrong. Even casual weed smokers have the expectation of being matched.
NEXT.
Yasir is living with Ruby. Yasir pursued Nuri. Yasir thinks about Nuri while in Ruby’s apartment. Yasir called Nuri from Ruby’s phone inside Ruby’s apartment. Yasir opened the door and held a conversation with Nuri at the door of Ruby’s apartment. Yasir turned down Ruby’s sexual advances because he felt loyal to Nuri WHILE LIVING IN RUBY’S APARTMENT!! The level of trifling here is at WTF! The fact that he’s broker than a McDonald’s ice cream machine on the hottest day of summer is one thing. The audacity to pursue the affection of a new woman while the current woman takes care of you??? Come on! Again, who raised you?
If you don’t get your childish, over grown ass out of that woman’s place. This man was sneaking to talk on the phone. How you gon' get on your current woman's telephone and tell your new woman you love her while laying on your current woman's couch??? GET OUT! Getcho ass out NOW!
It’s ok to fall out of love. It is not ok to use a comfortable situation as a place holder while you figure out how to secure your next love. Not for nothing Yasir could not engage in this atrocious behavior without the complicity of Ruby. So, in her case I’m also wondering…. Who raised you? Women, we don’t owe men everything. Ruby was not Yasir’s wife. But here she is acting all wifely. That’s a whole other blog! Hahahaha!
Did I tell y’all how much I love Yasir? LOL! That’s the thing about the easy intricacies of this show. It’s not forced or contrived. It’s real. I would not introduce him to any woman I know. And yet, I still get giddy when I see Yasir and Nuri together. I desperately want them to figure it out. *sigh* I don’t know a woman who hasn’t loved a man that wasn’t in her best interest. I guess that’s where the magic of love comes through. From the looks of it this gamble paid off for Nuri and I mean no disrespect to either of them. I’m not a gambler, but I know how to read the odds. I have two daughters and if either of them met a Yasir I wouldn’t want them to put their “money” on the table.
I LOVE this show!! Catch it on the OWN network Tuesdays 9 CST.
I'm not here because I'm an expert. I'm here because I have experiences. -Stephanie