"I always say, 'Handwritten thank you notes can make a difference.' People remeberthat- not an email. A handwritten note in an envelope."
-Andre Leon Talley
Hey y’all! Summer time is officially in session. As such, there’s some housekeeping matters we need to discuss. To be fair, I’m late with this one. I truly intended to have this conversation a couple of months ago, but it got away from me. So, I didn’t get a chance to remind you of what we both know you know. Now here we are, already knee deep in the season of celebration and giving. And no I’m not talking about Christmas. I know when Christmas is. *insert eyeroll
I’m talking about graduation and wedding season. Although… after a cold, brutal winter; this time of year also tends to be baby shower season.
This is an amazing time of year. It’s all about celebrating growth and accomplishments. I’m a giver at heart. I get it from my momma. I love love love to give. I enjoy seeing the look of joy and exclamation when someone receives something they wanted or something they didn’t know they wanted, but are nonetheless excited to receive. Perhaps, some of it is selfish. Honestly, I think I get more joy out of the process than the person receiving the gift.
There’s a whole process associated with it. First, you receive an invitation in the mail. Well, sometimes you don’t receive an invitation in the mail. Other times you receive a text, the dreaded group text, an evite or a “hey girl” phone call. However it goes, you get the invite and you begin managing everything from scheduling conflicts, to fashion and hair choices to ensure you will be in attendance. Finally, you get to the gift. Someone is being celebrated. So want to show your support.
You might choose the easy effort route by writing a check or hitting the ATM. Other times, you know the person well enough to choose an actual present you know they would love. Either way, you spend another six dollars on a card. Does anyone want to take two minutes to reflect on the cost of greeting cards these days? Listen. I’ve taken to using stationary because honey chile my resources can be better utilized. But then, I also really love greeting cards. Also, Hallmark is carrying a line by Jill Scott!!! Jilly will always get my money.
Wait. Where was I?
Oh. Dammit! Listen... Say thank you. I don’t just mean in the moment when you are handed the gift. I am talking about procuring stationary, locating a writing utensil and forming words on paper that represent your gratitude. See, everyone likes the sound of, “have an attitude of gratitude”, but some of you have forgotten the action that accompanies the attitude. Especially for some of these more formal celebrations. You planned a whole wedding, but didn’t consider thank you cards in the budget?
From a hosts perspective you may believe you have thrown a soiree, people came and ate great food, and enjoyed the ambience you provided. Maybe you believe they owe you. I dunno about all that, BUT most people bring a gift to account for that. I believe, while in most instances it is appropriate to provide a gift- The attendance of your guest is the gift.
Also, I’ve thrown enough parties to know that you will never make back what you spent on the party in gifts. NEVER. Well, not the way I do it. So, before we even finish with the gratitude piece we need to get clear on the reason you’re throwing a celebration in the first place.
I love a good celebration because it’s another reason to fellowship with people I like and love. Many times you will find people in attendance you don’t regularly get to see. In these times, with people dropping left and right; the gift is in the smiles and warm embraces of the folks you invited.
Maybe I’m a little old fashioned in this area. I don’t know. Getting a hand written note will literally bring a tear to my eye. All this texting and technology has taken so much of the human element out of what should be very personal interactions. Typed thank you cards??? I know it’s the quick way to do it. Have all the thank you cards pre-printed, sign them and just drop them in the mail. I’m not judging you. I’m just saying. The people in attendance didn’t take the quick way. They were thoughtful in their scheduling and they found money in their budget for you. You need to say thank you appropriately.
When I got married every check I received was handwritten. Every thank you note I sent was also handwritten. There were at least 150. I can’t even remember. I was happy to say thank you to EVERYONE in attendance. Some people gave a couple of twenties. Some gave several hundred. I was grateful for it all.
I really don’t like when people find a problem, but don’t offer a solution. So here you go friends.
Full disclosure: I can be forgetful at times. If I don’t do things when I’m thinking about them they often remain undone. Strategy— I don’t cash checks or spend money until the thank you note is in the mail. It works like a charm. We left for our honeymoon the day after the wedding. I wrote notes on the plane, in the morning on the balcony and poolside. Before we returned they were all complete.
People want to feel and be appreciated… just like you. Make an effort. Let your attitude of gratitude show itself in your actions.
I'm not here because I'm an expert. I'm here because I have experiences. -Stephanie