More people should apologize, and more people should accept apologies when sincerely made.
-Greg LeMond
I apologized to a stranger. I was wrong. I acknowledged I was wrong. I apologized. The end; right? Noooo… not the end. The ease of my apology struck me. You guys know me. Usually looking for the lesson. Ever reflecting... The apology came out as naturally as my breath. I didn’t need to be goaded into an apology. She didn’t tell me I owed it to her. No one needed to explain to me the err of my ways. I just did it and to a stranger no less. I mean that was the big part for me. It lead me to consider the difficulty often faced when we need to apologize to the ones we say we hold most dear. So what is it? Why don’t we just do it?
My britches had been in the biggest bunch because our beloved school district had yet to mail out school schedules, class assignments and such. So I called the school haughtily and asked when they would be mailed. The woman told me they wouldn’t be mailed until the end of the week. Insert my “Whatchu talkin ‘bout Willis?” face because school was to start the next week. When I began to contend that I didn’t understand why they were waiting so long this year, the woman says, “Well school doesn’t start for two more weeks. So…” Wait. WHAT???
See my “job” includes, but is not limited to handling all things child related. How did I get this wrong? Well, to make a long story go away— I have one child in the high school district and he started school the week before the elementary school district. I was confused. It was on me; not the school district. I quickly said, “I am so sorry. Thank you. Have a wonderful day!” I apologized. I was all puffed up about what I felt was an inadequacy on their part. Turns out the inadequacy belonged to me this time. Not in a bad way, but just in a owning my shit kinda way. So I apologized.
Think about all the times you have bumped into or stepped on the toe of a stranger. Immediately, the transgression is acknowledged. ‘My goodness! I’m so sorry! Please excuse me!” Hell, if you walk in front of someone looking at which canned green beans they want in aisle 6; you apologize. So what’s the deal? We have people in our lives whom we say we love, but when we wrong them we look for every reason not to apologize. “That’s just how I am.” “He knows I didn’t mean it like that.” “She’s too damn sensitive.”
We really need to search our hearts on this one. Humility is a beautiful attribute. Unfortunately, it has been connected to weakness and inferiority. So, instead of reaching towards a loved one; we push off with harsh words and or the ever popular silence and estrangement. Decide today if that thing between you and “them” could be resolved with a very simple, but genuine… “I apologize. I would love to move forward. How can we do that?” Ignore your inner voice that keeps telling you that humbly, sincerely apologizing is tantamount to kissing ass.
Hey! I love y’all. You know that. Do better. Humility is resilient and strong. Love the people you love in the natural; before folks go on to glory. You will NEVER regret repairing a relationship. But you will always lament over what could have been. Choose you today. Apologize.
I’m not here because I’m an expert. I’m here because I have experiences -Stephanie